


Wowowow, it Feels so Good, Really Good

by turbota2tiic



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M, Taekwondostuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:41:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1974537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turbota2tiic/pseuds/turbota2tiic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CG: IN CASE YOU *MUST* KNOW FOR SOME GOD-FORSAKEN REASON, I DECIDED TO TRY OUT MARTIAL ARTS IN MY NEW TOWN. I SAW A SIGN AND MY DAD SIGNED ME UP FOR A TRIAL.<br/>TA: and howd iit go<br/>CG: I MET KIND OF AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON, I GUESS. AT LEAST, HE WAS LESS OF AN EYESORE THAN ANYONE ELSE THERE.<br/>TA: ooh, CG ha2 a CRU2H.</p><p>In which two oblivious dumb boys who are friends online accidently meet each other IRL through Taekwondo but don't realize it for a LONG TIME. Feat. Bro Strider as the head instructor, Terezi as Sollux's blind sister who knows what's up, and Sollux as the head instructor's assistant who's in charge of teaching new people.</p><p>(Title is from a really lame Kpop song titled Wowowow by SHINee. Because Taekwondo is Korean, get it? Hah, author is lame.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Guy

You first notice a new guy in the building when you walk in, car keys, uniform, and sparring gear in tow. He was kind of milling around at the desk, talking to the head instructor, Mr. Strider. You never really called him anything else, despite being his sort of assistant. You notice the raven-haired boy turn to look at you when you came in, your glasses are still tinted from the bright sunlight outside so you can't really tell what colour his eyes are, but they looked pretty damn bright.

You go to change in the men's locker room with a slight nod to Mr. Strider. Once you changed out of your street clothes, you quickly pulled your uniform on with idle conversation with the other guys. You tie your black belt around your skinny waist and pick up your bag of sparring gear. You notice the new guy slowly, almost cautiously entering the men's locker room with one of the standard beginner's uniforms that Mr. Strider keeps supplied at the front desk. You nod at him and he blinks his surprisingly... Red eyes at you.

After lineup, bow-in and warm up, you're given three attendance cards to three students, the new guy is one of them. Great. You hated teaching basics, and new people. And the way he's been staring at you, you can only guess he's going to make some snide comment like, "Wow, a scrawny nerd like you made it to second degree? How surprising!"

You work with the green belt, Nepeta, and teach her another segment of her form. She catches on fast, as always. You next work with your own little blind sister, Terezi. She is impressive, given she can't see what she's doing, but manages to do it flawlessly. Okay, she's not much younger than you, only about a year. But here, she is definitely younger than you, since she's only a yellow belt. God, you'll have a hell of a time next testing cycle when she starts sparring.

Then, oh boy, the new guy. Some of the other students flocked around him to introduce themselves before going off to practice on their own. He looks maybe 15, but that can't be right, you saw car keys in his hand, and he didn't have a parent with him. You approach him slowly, extending a hand for him to shake once you're close enough.

"Hello, I'm Mr. Captor, and I'll be teaching you today," You greet, purposely avoiding any specific sounds that would bring out your lisp. Years of speech therapy, and your stupid mouth was too damn stubborn to let go of it.

"I'm Karkat Vantas," He says quietly. Damn, this guy looks like he needs a good night's sleep. And that's coming from you, Mr. Nocturnal Computer Nerd only to be woken up before 11 by your annoying sister. Usually before 10 if she’s feeling extra mean.

"How old are you? I apologize if it'th rude to inquire, it may help me with teaching you, though," You ask, letting one word with the letter “S” slip, damn. Well, whatever.

"Nice lisp, sir. And I'm seventeen," He replies flatly. Wow. Your age. His parents must've called ahead of time or something. "I just moved here from Prospittown," He adds.

"Nice, I hear that'th a nice place to live," You reply cooly and professionally. You're probably going to run into him in school come fall anyways, but hey, maybe if you befriend him, you'll actually HAVE a friend, at school. You have friends, of course, but not at school. Mostly here, at the place you live and breathe for at least four and a half hours a week, usually more since you help with teaching.

Karkat seems like a pretty interesting guy. Quiet, given, but you think he's just being a bit polite and uptight (despite the comment on your lisp, which you’ll let slide). They all loosen up after a week or two, even the one girl who had crippling social anxiety and would not say a word to anyone eventually showed her true colours.

You teach him his basics, high blocks, front kicks, side kicks, proper punches, and actually realize that this time around, you didn't mind teaching it. Mr. Strider calls you all to line up again to bow out shortly after you wrap up teaching Karkat, so you couldn't practice your own form, but eh, whatever. You have it memorized in your sleep. You could do your own form in your sleep, along with many of the other lower ranked forms.

You change back into your street clothes, hanging up your uniform so it doesn’t wrinkle. The less you have to wash and iron that thing, the better. Terezi yells at you to wash it about every two weeks or so, after the one time you only washed it before testing. That thing stunk up your closet, and you sometimes catch a whiff of it, despite it being like, half a year ago.

You grab your keys out of your sparring gear bag and pick up all of your belongings. You say bye to all of the guys that were still milling around in the changing room and go to wait for Terezi. Your parents had dropped her off, but you had to take her home. Not really much of a problem, except for the fact that she yells at you for your driving, which she can’t even see.

You grin evilly, looking around before knocking loudly on the girl’s changing room door. “Terezi, hurry up, mom hath dinner on the table!” You shout at the closed door and you hear Terezi growl at you.

“Gimme a second, Lord Appleberry, more like DRILL SERGEANT Appleberry. You know, it’s kinda hard to change clothes when you can’t see what you’re doing,” She responds with an annoyed tone to her voice. Ehehehe, it’s always so fun to annoy her. Which is precisely why you do it.

“Well, it’th not my fault your friend told you to look at a tholar eclipthe when you were eight,” You tease, grinning. You see Mr. Strider give you kind of a warning look over his triangular shades and you give one back that tells him that Terezi knows it’s all in good fun. He nods, going back to doing paperwork at the desk.

While having the staredown with Mr. Strider, you didn’t notice Terezi silently slip out of the changing room and her cane meets the back of your head in a firm, yet not too hard, but hard enough to cause pain, drubbing. You whip around, glaring at her. “You know, that’th no way to treat your inthructor. I could teach you wrong and have you methh up at tethting, TZ, jutht remember that,” You tell her, grinning on the inside.

“You know, I can’t see, but I know you’re glaring at me. And I also know you’re not serious, because Mr. Strider would NEVER let you teach a poor, sweet, blind girl the wrong moves in a form,” She rebutts, grinning. You grin back at her, grabbing her hand that isn’t holding her stuff and her cane to guide her out the door.

“See you two around, don’t kill each other on the way home. You two are actually pretty good students, and I wouldn’t be able to handle some of these guys without you two,” Mr. Strider tells you on your way out the door, waving with his signature Strider-smirk.

You put all of your’s and Terezi’s stuff into your car and you start the car, making sure Terezi was able to buckle herself in. You flick on the radio at a decent level, Terezi’s ears are highly sensitive from her being blind so you never were allowed to play the music loudly with her around.

“So, who was that kid giving you googly eyes?” She asks casually as you begin driving towards home.

“What? Nobody wath giving me googly eyeth, TZ,” You sputter out, nobody was giving you googly eyes, right?

“Bullshit, I smelled pheromones wafting off of him in TIDAL WAVES, Sollux. They were kind of cherry scented, but I’ve never smelled anything like him before, was he...The new guy?” She waggles her eyebrows and you roll your eyes.

“Rolling my eyes, TZ. I did teach the new guy, he’th actually my age. I mean, he wath thtaring at me, but I’m attractive, contrary to your belief, tho it happenth,” You reply, smirking.

“And who’s idea was it for you to start shaving so you didn’t have that disgusting peach fuzz and therefore you are more attractive? Oh that’s right, mine,” She smirks. “I guess attractiveness runs in the family, Sollux. Though, I am the hotter sibling.”

“How would you know? You’re blind. Pluth, I think Mituna taketh the prize for motht attractive thibling,” You rebutt.

“How would you know?” She mocks. “He has his hair covering his eyes all the time!”

You shrug, tell her you shrugged, and continue your drive home with only the radio as noise.

You pull into the driveway, park your car, and grab all of your’s and Terezi’s stuff and lug it into the house. Terezi thanks you and you mutter a, “Yeah, whatever”.

Your mom is sitting at the kitchen table, working on paperwork, still in her suit from work. Probably working on a case of some sort. She’s a lawyer, and a good one, so she works on cases even at home sometimes. Well, almost all the time. She looks up, peering over her red-tinted glasses and smiles at you and Terezi.

“Hey Sollux, hey Terezi, how was class?” She asks as she brushes her black bangs out of her face.

“Pretty good, I taught TZ again and she’th doing really well,” You reply quickly, opening the closet near the door and putting your sparring gear bag in it as well as both your’s and Terezi’s uniforms.

“Good to hear, good to hear,” She trails off, getting lost in the case again. You find dinner on the stove for both you and Terezi, still warm and covered, so you hand Terezi a plate of it and she sits next to your mom with it and begins eating. You sit across the table, chowing down on your mom’s great cooking.

“So, Sollux forgot to tell you there’s a new guy in class now,” Terezi begins. You shoot her a warning growl.

“Oh, really? Is he cute?” Your mom asks, grinning evilly at you. You’re glad your parents are fine with you being gay, but sometimes you wish they weren’t so… Open about it, thinking that every guy was instantly on your list. Because you honestly could not give less fucks about dating. Eugh. Computers are easier. No feelings bullshit, easily fixed problems, no drama.

You shrug. “Eh, hith hair ith obviouthly dyed black and hith eyeth are weird ath hell, bright red,” You reply to your mom. She looks at Terezi and Terezi feels it and grins at your mom.

“He was totally eyeing Sollux, though,” Terezi adds, mirroring your moms expression as they both turn their heads towards you. God, why did they have to look so alike? Terezi has red hair and freckles, but other than they you swear they had to be clones of each other.

You huff, getting up and setting your empty plate in the sink and go to shower. You hear Terezi and your mom giggling how you’d be cute with the new guy and you growl. Sometimes, you wish your dad wasn’t forced to go on so many business trips with his slavedriver of a boss, you call her the batterbitch, since she has a baking company on the side.

You walk into your bathroom, clean pajamas in your arm and you set them down on the counter. You look at yourself in the mirror briefly before taking your glasses off and stripping down. Eugh, you looked gross, your brown hair was all slicked down with sweat and grease, and your face looked oily. You turn on the shower and step inside, instantly forgetting about your evil sister and mother when the warm water hits you. Okay, they aren’t evil, but they sure do like to tease you. But you like teasing them too, so it’s all good.

After your shower, you decide it’s time for some much-needed unwind time. You fire up your gaming PC and your heterochromatic-eyed cat, Bicyclops,  jumps into your lap. He purrs at you as you sign into Steam and launch one of your favourite games, SGRUB. You notice your online friend, CG sign on a bit after you do. Best thing about SGRUB is that it came with a chat client, Trollian.

\----carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at [20:32]----

CG: HEY, LOSER.

TA: 2up, diickwad.

TA: iim 2urprii2ed that you actually got onliine after me for once, ii thought you diidnt ever do anythiing all day.

CG: HEY, SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU DICKSUCKING ASSLUMP. MAYBE, WOW, I ACTUALLY FOUND SOMETHING TO DO.

TA: you? leave your hou2e probably iin the miiddle of nowhere? heh, yeah riight.

CG: IN CASE YOU FORGOT, MY DAD, BROTHER, AND I RECENTLY MOVED.

CG: TO SOMEWHERE NOT “PROBABLY IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE”.

CG: I GUESS I WOULDN’T EXPECT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT, SINCE ALL YOU REALLY CAN REMEMBER IS HOW TO ACT LIKE A SMARTASS WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING.

TA: becau2e ii do know everythiing, obviiou2ly.

TA: okay, not everythiing, but ii know a lot about computer2 and martiial art2.

CG: SO, MOSTLY USELESS INFORMATION.

TA: hey, no

TA: martiial art2 ii2 the 2HIIT and ii can probably kiill 2omeone iif ii needed two. and you can get job2 for workiing wiith computer2, you know.

TA: 2o iid 2ay that iinformatiion iis not u2ele22.

CG: MMHMM, WHATEVER, MORON.

CG: ACTUALLY, THAT’S WHERE I KIND OF WAS.

TA: you were iin2ide a computer?? damn, KK.

TA: ii know you 2aiid you were 2hort but WOW.

CG: NO, YOU RETARDED SHITPAN.

TA: that2 offen2iive. you know my 2ii2ter ii2 di2abled.

CG: SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU’VE TOLD ME SHE’S BLIND. AND THAT SHE DOESN’T EVEN ACT IT.

TA: touche.

CG: IN CASE YOU *MUST* KNOW FOR SOME GOD-FORSAKEN REASON, I DECIDED TO TRY OUT MARTIAL ARTS IN MY NEW TOWN. I SAW A SIGN AND MY DAD SIGNED ME UP FOR A TRIAL.

TA: and howd iit go

CG: I MET KIND OF AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON, I GUESS. AT LEAST, HE WAS LESS OF AN EYESORE THAN ANYONE ELSE THERE.

TA: ooh, CG ha2 a CRU2H.

CG: HELL NO, LIKE I WOULD EVER FALL FOR SOME GUY WITH AN INFLATED EGO WHO ACTS OLDER THAN ME JUST BECAUSE OF THE DUMB BLACK STRIP OF FABRIC TIED AROUND HIS WAIST.

CG: HIS SCRAWNY WAIST.

TA: hii2 attractiive waii2t.

TA: at lea2t attractiive two you.

TA: eheheheheh.

CG: REMIND ME AGAIN WHY I EVEN *CHOOSE* TO DEAL WITH YOU?

TA: becau2e iim the only one that can put up wiith your con2tant ragiing.

TA: and your ragiing boner for the guy you met twoday.

CG: CAN YOU FUCKING *NOT*.

CG: I JUST SAID HE WAS LESS OF AN EYESORE THAN ANYONE ELSE I’VE MET IN THIS NEW TOWN.

CG: NOT THAT I’D WANT HIM TO FUCK ME UNTIL I CAN’T WALK.

TA: that2 what they all 2ay

TA: fiir2t iit2 all “oh hey look he2 better lookiing than everyone el2e”

TA: then iit mutate2 iinto extreme attractiion and wantiing them two fuck you 2en2ele22.

CG: AND WHAT DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT DATING, MR. I-ONLY-LEAVE-MY-HOUSE-FOR-MARTIAL-ARTS?

CG: I DOUBT YOU’VE EVEN DATED ANYONE BEFORE.

TA: well iit2 not liike iive never had a cru2h before.

TA: and hey, youve 2aiid you havent dated anyone before, eiither, lo2er.

CG: IF I’M A LOSER, YOU MUST BE A DOUBLE-LOSER.

CG: DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? DO YOU APPRECIATE IT? I MADE ONE OF YOUR LAME TWO JOKES. JUST FOR YOU. BASK IN IT’S GLORY.

TA: ii 2ee what you diid there.

TA: ii 2woon, CG. you catered two my two joke weakne22.

CG: ARE YOU SURE IT’S NOT BECAUSE YOU DON’T EAT ENOUGH.

TA: hey now, ii eat enough

TA: at lea2t when 2omeone remiind2 me two

TA: and after ii get home from cla22.

CG: EXACTLY MY FUCKING POINT.

CG: OH SHITFUCK, I HAVE TO GO, MY DUMBASS OF AN OLDER BROTHER IS MAKING ME SIT IN ON ONE OF HIS SERMONS, A-FUCKING-GAIN.

TA: have fun wiith your blabbermouth brother.

TA: niight CG.

CG: NIGHT, SHITMONKEY.

\----carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at [21:19]----

 

You smile, you really like talking to CG. Your constant banter with him makes you feel great, and his insults were so ridiculous sometimes. Long ago, you’d both made an agreement to not give out any personal details about yourselves to each other, not even your first names. You don’t video call either. He’s insecure about his looks, and you’re insecure about your lisp, so you’re both insecure pieces of shit.

You continue playing SGRUB for a while with some of your other online friends before going to bed surprisingly early for you, around 1 AM.

You pull your light blanket over yourself and take your glasses off, setting them on the table next to your bed. Your mind wanders to that new guy in your taekwondo class today. You guess he was alright looking, but nothing to really bat an eye at. If anything, you’d just want to maybe be friends with him to make your senior year in school less miserable come fall.

You slowly drift off into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	2. Shitchafing Fuck No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Slight NSFW in this chapter, but nothing major or detailed.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you fucking hate your brother. Well, not actually, but you hate the fact that he summoned you when you were in the middle of a conversation with probably your best friend. Yeah, he’s on the internet, but you still have quite a nice bond with him.

“...And that concludes my speech on why I believe that homosexuality is wrong, but I shall not tease and/or bully you for being one of them,” Kankri concludes with that assholeish half-closed eyes, one hand out, mid-speech look that he got whenever he’d lecture you on the most random things. You kind of zoned out and just stared in his general direction for the past _three goddamn hours_. How in the hell can he babble on for that long?

“Can I go to fucking sleep now? You LITERALLY wasted like three hours of my life. Hours I could have spent doing something much more meaningful than sitting here, being lectured by you. Dad’s fine with me being gay, so I don’t get what the huge fucking deal is. And don’t even try to reply to that, I’m tired. I’m going to bed,” You growl at your older brother. Sure, you could be long-winded too, but not nearly as bad as he is.

Before he can even try to babble on more, you stand up, slamming your hands on the kitchen table before absconding to the bathroom to change into your pajamas and brush your teeth. You lock the door behind you and glare at yourself in the mirror, your gaze traveling up to the roots of your hair that need redyed. Damn, you JUST redyed it a couple of weeks before the move, and your bright-ass white roots were already growing back in (not many would notice except yourself, but they’re still there). You hate being albino. Your skin is pale as fuck, you always get sunburn, you always get stared at, your eyes are fucking *maraschino cherry red*, and your natural hair colour is damn near white. Which, of course, causes more staring.

Being like this, of course, causes you to be extremely insecure about your looks. You feel bad for TA, since he has wanted to video call before, despite him saying he has something wrong with how he pronounces certain things. Your dad lets you dye your hair, at least. You chose black, it has a nice contrast with your pale skin, and matches most of your clothes. You aren’t some kind of goth freak, but you just prefer to wear black. It feels like it takes people’s attention away from your freakish eyes and pale skin. Though, a girl at your old school assumed you to be some kind of vampire fanatic before. Whatever, you’re in a new town now.

Your dad had to move because he got a new job. He’s a priest for the Episcopal church. Somehow, your brother ended up swinging Catholic, but whatever. Your dad was fine with it. You, on the other hand, aren’t. You hate your brother and the way he shoves his religion down your throat. Your dad doesn’t do it to you (though you guess you’re Episcopalian, you just don’t like to be open about it and you aren’t some kind of religious freak).

You angrily brush your teeth as you glare at yourself in the mirror. Why couldn’t you have brown hair and brown eyes like your dad and brother? You guess the world just hates you that much.

You exit the bathroom and trod on to your room, closing the door behind you. You doubt you’d have a meaningful conversation with TA now, he gets pretty weird later at night. Not that he’s not weird all the time, but he gets into these odd moods when he’s tired and acts slightly more like an asshole than usual.

Your mind wanders to the conversation you had with him earlier. Hmm. Maybe you were slightly attracted to the second degree black belt who had taught you today. Though, isn’t it a bit early to tell? You just met the guy for fuck’s sake.

Besides, all you know about him is that he has a sister, you could spot the resemblance a mile away. She seemed to be a bit impaired and needed guidance, which was a bit odd, but whatever. He was fairly tall, maybe an even six feet tall, maybe 6’1”. He had to have weighed only like, two pounds though. Okay, not two pounds, but he definitely was pretty skinny. You couldn’t tell what colour his eyes were, his glasses kind of blocked your interpretation of that. His hair was a mediumish brown and cut fairly short, his bangs were pretty neat, but on the sides and back his hair seemed to spike upwards and out, which was kind of weird, but kind of nice. He had slightly large canines, and a lisp.

Okay, maybe you are attracted to him for picking up on all of these details. Fuckdamnit, you just moved here, is this really necessary? How old even is he? He has one of those faces that could literally range anywhere from 15 to like 19. Frustrating. Though, you wouldn’t really mind if he was a little older or a little younger than you, 17.

Lost in thought, you throw on your headphones, plugging them into your smartphone to play some music in order to ease your mind. Your mind needs to be completely empty for you to fall asleep. You realized that a while ago, but later than you probably should have. Whatever.

You switch off the light beside you and just lay there on your bed, listening to music for a while. You stare at your new ceiling. You glance around your dark, half-unpacked room. Your gaze freezes on the new taekwondo uniform hanging on your closet door, a white belt draped around the hook part of the hanger. You wonder if TA has ever gotten a crush on someone wherever he trains. You know he’s gay, and he knows you are. But you two have too nice of a broship to even think about dating each other. Plus, dating over the internet, you think, is only a miserable experience. Plus plus, you’ve never seen each other’s faces, but you both prefer it that way. All you know is that he’s in the same time zone as you.

You wonder if Mr. Captor is gay. He has a lisp, sure, but that may be an impediment. But who would know that you could ask? Whoa, slow, down, Karkat, you think to yourself. You redirect your thoughts to maybe befriending him first, despite how nerve wracking that may seem. Maybe befriending his sister…? But no, you don’t want to befriend her just for that. She obviously is less threatening, and maybe she needs a “sassy gay best friend”. You shiver. That happened at your old school a lot. Girls would try to befriend you for the sole reason of you being gay. It was kind of dehumanizing. And it pissed you off to no end.

You sit up on your bed, curling up into a little ball. Maybe you should ask TA what to do, he might know something about attracting a higher ranked person in martial arts. Or at least befriending them. God, you don’t even know Mr. Captor’s first name. On the back of his uniform, it just says, “S. Captor”. Would it be a normal name like Sam or Stephan? Steve? None of those seem to fit his appearance, though. And everyone looks like their names, it’s simple science.

You flop back down on your bed and sigh. You turn the volume of your music up more in order to drown out your racing thoughts. Last night, you were too nervous about going to taekwondo in the first place, fearful that you’d get beaten up for being a runty newbie. Now you have a totally different problem.

Your music eventually drains all thoughts from your mind and you fall asleep.

...You’re in your new room in front of your computer, the monitor is black and suddenly comes to life. Inside of the monitor is… Captor? He’s pressing his hands against the other side of the glass, like he’s trapped inside of your computer. He starts pounding his fist against it, giving you a look like he needs help. You tentatively reach for your monitor, and find that it’s like a portal. You grab his hand and pull him through and he topples over on top of you. Despite being skinny, he didn’t feel all that bad.

He pulls away from you slightly and you’re face-to-face. He looks relieved. He says something inaudible and kisses you, right on the lips. His arms wrap around you and rub up and down your torso. You’re not sure what to do but eventually you wrap your arms around his waist. He drapes his long legs over the arms of your chair and situates himself more comfortably.

It leads to making out, his tongue slipping against your’s and exploring your mouth, and your tongue exploring his, getting caught on his sharp teeth. One of his hands tangles in your hair, tugging lightly.

You pull him closer to you, but still distant enough so that he could still kiss you comfortably. Suddenly, he gets up and tugs you from your chair.

His eyes lock with your’s over his glasses as he grabs your hand and guides it to… Oh dear fucking lord, his crotch.

Just as you were about to make contact, you’re jolted awake, breathing heavily. You feel sweat on the back of your neck, and something down lower is awake now, too. Fuck. It’s still dark outside, so you didn’t get a ton of sleep.

You grumble to yourself, pushing yourself out of bed. You quietly pad off to the bathroom, covering your crotch with your hands in case your brother decides to pop out of nowhere. Urgh.

You safely make it to your destination and strip out of your pants and boxers. Fuck crushes, figuratively and literally. You sink down against the door, spreading your legs a bit as you took care of your problem, making sure to keep a hand over your mouth. The bathroom is farther away from Kankri’s room than your own room is, so you have less of a chance of waking him up in the event you do make any obscene noises while you handle… That. Yeah, that.

It doesn’t take long for you to climax, especially after that dream you just had, it only fueled the fire more. You make a high pitched squeaking noise from your throat when you come, spilling all over your hand with a sigh.

You stand up on shaky legs and clean up your mess as quietly as possible before shutting off the bathroom light and opening the door as quietly as possible. A dark shadow stands there and you jump backwards. Your eyes adjust and Kankri is glaring sleepily at you.

“Get back to bed, brother. I don’t appreciate you doing… Those things. At such indecent hours. It’s indecent to do to begin with,” Kankri starts, and you shove him aside.

“Fuck off, I really don’t want to deal with you right now,” You cut him off, making your way back to your room and closing the door behind you. You hear Kankri enter the bathroom, and you can hear him rummaging around for cleaning supplies like you’d just made the whole thing unsanitary. You’re so tired of his shit.

You’ll never be able to look at Captor the same again after this, great.

You eventually fall back asleep, thank god it was a dreamless sleep. Kankri wakes you up at about 10 am, glaring at you awkwardly.

“I spent an hour last night disinfecting the bathroom, I’ll have you know. I never want to see you doing things like that in that bathroom ever agai-”

“Fine, I’ll just do it in my room then, right against the wall where your room is connected to mine, and I won’t cover my mouth” You growl at him, half asleep. He sputters before exiting, defeated. “Father has breakfast ready, Karkat,” He tells you before leaving.

You wander downstairs after brushing through your hair a it, which did virtually nothing, but whatever.

“...How can he hold the hand of God if he’s holding his-” Kankri is sitting at the table talking to your dad and your dad is suddenly alert of your presence.

“Oh, good morning, Karkat! Did you sleep well?” He asks with a bright, fake smile, desperately giving you the look of “Save me from your brother, please”.

You glare at Kankri, walking straight up to him. “That’s why God gave us TWO HANDS, jackass,” You tell him. He looks petrified and your dad snickers.

Your dad fistbumps you and Kankri grabs his shoulderbag, looking annoyed. “I’m going off to meet some people and perhaps find a job,” He huffs before leaving.

Your dad glances at you, raising his eyebrows. “Karkat, you know, in all seriousness, you should save that kind of thing for when Kankri isn’t around, you know how sensitive he can be to that kind of stuff,” He explains.

You scratch the back of your neck and nod a bit. “Yeah… It was just a dream I had, so I had to take care of that so I didn’t end up getting another shitty night of sleep…” You awkwardly explain to your dad.

He nods, reaching up from where he’s sitting and ruffling your hair. “I understand, and if he ever shames you for it again, I want you to take care of yourself as loudly as possible, right near his room,” He smirks, and you give him a half-smirk.

“I plan on it, dad,” You tell him before going and getting your plate of eggs and bacon that your dad had prepared for you. Your dad gets up, muttering something about having to run some errands and he leaves. You’re now alone.

You eat your breakfast slowly, thinking even MORE about Captor. You feel guilty as hell for jacking off to thoughts about him, god. You finish your food and put the dishes in the dishwasher before heading upstairs to your room and starting up your computer. You’re praying that TA is online. Oh, good, he is.

\----carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at [11:03]----

CG: TA, WE HAVE A FUCKING EMERGENCY.

CG: PREPARE THE BATTLESHIP, ACTIVATE THE ALARMS, PULL ALL OF THE FUCKING ALARM LEVERS.

TA: whoa, man, whoa

TA: chiill out for a 2econd.

CG: I CAN’T FUCKING “CHILL OUT”, YOU HAIRY BALLSACK.

TA: well 2low down, what happened.

CG: YOU WERE FUCKING RIGHT.

TA: that2 not new, but what wa2 ii riight about thii2 tiime??

CG: ABOUT BEING FUCKING ATTRACTED TO THAT SCRAWNY, NERDASS BLACK BELT I MET YESTERDAY.

TA: oh, that, ehehehe. ii called iit.

CG: TA, I HAD DREAMS LAST NIGHT, AND IT ONLY MAGNIFIED THE SITUATION LIKE SOME KIND OF HIGH-POWERED MICROSCOPE.

TA: oh dear god, you have iit bad.

CG: NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.

CG: WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?

TA: well obviiou2ly dont tell hiim you had wet dream2 about hiim.

TA: maybe ju2t try two be friiend2 wiith hiim fiir2t? fliirt wiith hiim a liittle?? not two much though at fir2t 2iince you ju2t met.

CG: OKAY, OKAY. COOL. YEAH.

CG: FUCK, THOUGH, I’M A FUCK UP, HAVING WET DREAMS ABOUT A GUY I JUST MET, WHAT IF HE ENDED UP BEING AN UTTER ASS OR NOT GAY OR

TA: 2top being 2o damn pe22iimii2tiic

TA: that2 my job

TA: ii2nt beiing a relatiion2hiip expert YOUR job??

CG: FUCK, YOU’RE RIGHT.

TA: of cour2e ii am.

CG: OKAY, I’LL HANDLE IT THEN, HOPEFULLY.

TA: wiith all of tho2e giirly moviie2 you watch, iim 2ure you can.

CG: GO DIE IN A HOLE, YOU BATSHITTING DOUCHEWAGON.

TA: ehehehehe.

\----twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at [11:26]----

 

TA is pretty damn smart and motivating, despite his attitude of seemingly not giving a shit. You can tell he cares about you like you care about him. He may not have any specific words of wisdom, but he definitely boosted your confidence.


	3. Awkward Parents and Dinner

The moment you decided that you absolutely want to kill your sister happened just a few moments ago. Terezi doesn’t know when to give it a break with trying to hook you up with guys in order to “get you out of the house”. You do get out of the house. You’re fine with only getting out of the house for taekwondo. But you guess Terezi isn’t satisfied with that answer.

You noticed her chatting to that Karkat guy before class. And you know that Terezi is only up to absolutely no good at all, per the norm. In order to stop her from making matters irreversibly worse, you walk over to Terezi, lightly setting your elbow on top of her head.

“Sollux, stop it,” She tells you before going back to talking to Karkat, which you tune your selective hearing to actually listen to. “So, yeah, you should come over for dinner today! Our family always does that with new members, since my dumb brother here is an assistant instructor and all!”

You sputter, muttering an, “Excuthe me” to Karkat before tugging Terezi by her collar to the side, a bit away from Karkat. “TZ, what the abtholute hell are you doing? We barely even know him!” You growl at your sister.

She crosses her arms, smirking at you like your mom smirks. “Mom already said it was fine, Blue-cherry Soda. I asked her earlier. She actually encouraged me to! She wants to meet your future man,” She giggles, waggling her eyebrows.

“I don’t know what the hell kind of drugth you and Mom have been doing lately, but I’m not interethted in a total thtranger, TZ. Hathn’t Mom taught you about thtranger danger yet?” You hushly shout. God, you really wish your dad was back from his business trip. He had just left yesterday after dropping TZ off at taekwondo with your mom, but he’s about the only person who can keep your mom and sister from misbehaving and being so… Weird.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and whip yourself around. At first, you don’t see anyone, but you glance down slightly and Karkat is staring up at you with a bit of a fed-up look in his red eyes and his arms crossed over his chest. “You know, I can hear every word you’re saying. I actually think it was very nice and welcoming of your sister to invite me over. But if you don’t want me to come over, then fine! You’ll be the one facing the wrath of your mom when she made all of that extra food and you drove me away,” He grumbles. Damn, he could talk. And damn, you felt guilty now.

“H-hey, I didn’t mean it like that! I jutht, they make planth without telling me,” You try to explain, getting more and more uncomfortable with how those bright red eyes drilled into you. Like they were seeing through to the very core of your soul, it was disturbing.

“Well, as Terezi explained, it’s not like you have any friends that you invite over regularly. So you obviously don’t have any plans, and computer time can actually, wow! Be compromised for, get this! The real world! Your computer won’t die from an extra hour or two away from it,” He rants to you. Okay, he’s a little bit… Funny. Like the kind of humour you really like to take part in.

“Well maybe it will, you don’t know my life,” You rebut, smirking a bit. He puffs out his cheeks, probably trying to hide a smirk or something.

“Now I see why you don’t have many friends, Captor. You have a rare sense of humour, but luckily, so do I. I believe this may be the beginning of a great friendship,” He says, holding out his hand. You shake it, smirking wider.

“That’th Mr. Captor to you, white belt.”

\----

You taught Karkat the first few moves of his form, and also reviewed with him the proper things to do while training and at testing, competitions, and any other events. You taught him the most common commands that Mr. Strider would call out in korean; “charyut” meaning “stand at attention”, “kyungnae” meaning “bow”, “bahroh” meaning “ready stance”, “shijahk” meaning “begin”, and “shi-uh” meaning “at ease”, as well. You said you’d write them down for him later in case his tiny mind couldn’t wrap around them all. Ehehehe, you guess this kid is pretty fun to tease.

You bow out and take off your uniform, glancing at the shower stalls and deciding it might be a good idea to at least rinse off. You run into Equius, the blue belt, back there and he hands you some soap and shampoo. Equius is a fairly odd fellow, but he comes from a family of wealth so you guess you’d expect it. Rich people are weird.

You shower with thanks to Equius giving you some soap (good lord, did you really smell that gross? Or was he just trying to be friendly?). You dry off with the towel that you keep in your bag and change into your street clothes. You walk out of the changing room to find Karkat and Terezi waiting patiently for you. Well, not patiently, but you’d like to think they were. They both looked kind of peeved, but being a black belt is hard and requires showers after class, it’s hard. It’s hard and nobody (out of those two) understands.

Karkat gets into his car, and it’s pretty good quality, at least, better than your car. Your car is kind of old, not extremely, but it has a good amount of miles on it. Your dad’s had it for a while, you think he owned it originally but you’re not sure. You just decided it was a good idea to paint yellow racing stripes onto the black exterior and you have to say you kind of like it. (You made the racing striped sort of form your zodiac sign, gemini, since you always thought it was the coolest of the cool.)

Terezi hops into the passenger seat and Karkat follows you back to your house in his car. Terezi keeps making comments about him “totally liking you” the whole way there. If she hadn’t been blind, you would kick her out of the car and make her walk. You don’t hate Terezi, but she does get on your nerves a lot, and without your dad home, your mom will be no better.

Once you actually do get home, you grab all of your’s and Terezi’s stuff and enter the house, letting Terezi and Karkat in as well. Karkat takes his shoes off and puts them on the mat that contains all of the other shoes that are regularly worn by people in your house.

Your mom pretty much materializes at your side, wrapping an arm around your waist and squeezing you in some kind of display strong parental affection. She looks at Karkat with a smile, an excited one. “Hello, you must be Karkat! It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you,” She greets and you cringe.

Karkat looks kind of surprised, raising his eyebrows and you think you see a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “Oh, really? Like what, exactly?” He asks carefully. You just about want to crawl into a hole and die right now. Like, it’s be great if someone shot you right now, right in the chest, or the head. Yeah.

“Well, you’re just as attractive as my kids said you’d be! And I also hear you’re a great new student so far!” She explains, pinching your side, but nobody would be able to notice it. You growl. Karkat’s pale cheeks darken a tone in redness and you feel like you’re about to die from secondhand embarrassment.

“Well, then! I have dinner all made, Karkat, I hope you like tacos!” Your mom suddenly changes the subject and leads you all into the kitchen. You grab two tacos, and put only meat and cheese on them. Terezi douses hers with ketchup and tomatoes as well as meat and cheese. God, she likes the taste of red.

You sit down, and your mom just so happened to know exactly where you’d sit and places Karkat right next to you at the table. You glare over your glasses at your mom and she gives you a knowing smile. Why did your family have to be so dumb?

Your gaze flits over to Karkat and he looks kind of uncomfortable. Like he’s sitting visibly very stiff and kind of hunched over. You try to visibly relax yourself to try to get him to calm the fuck down. You’ll apologize to him later for your weird-ass family.

You start eating your tacos and nobody is talking. It’s dead silent except for the sound of people eating food awkwardly while all sitting at the same table without having conversation. Now you really want to be dead. You glance over to Karkat and he’s picking at his taco slowly, his red gaze dashing all over the kitchen-dining room area. That’s when you notice at the roots of his hair, there’s a slight hint of whitish shading. Maybe his natural hair colour is blonde but due to the black dye it makes it look white? Hmm. You never found anything wrong with blonde hair, but everyone has different opinions.

You finish your food first and just kind of sit there. You wipe your mouth and look over at your mom, who smiles at you. She raises her eyebrows a bit and looks over to Karkat, who’s staring down at his half-eaten second taco. She smiles wider and after finishing her food and making sure Terezi had finished hers, nudges Terezi’s shoulder.

“Terezi, I forgot that I have something to pick up at the store, do you think you could run out with me and get it?” She asks Terezi. To anyone not in your family, it would seem like an innocent question. But your mom is just trying to make you be alone with Karkat. Who you aren’t even friends with really yet.

“Oh, sure, Mom! I actually was thinking, I need some new braille books to read, so could we go order some from the bookstore today, too?” She asks, smiling a devilish smile. Your mom nods and they both stand up.

“Sorry to leave you so suddenly, Karkat. But we’ll be back soon, if you’d like, you can leave, or you can hang out with Sollux for a bit!” Your mom says as she’s putting on her shoes and heading out the door with Terezi in tow. Karkat nods, taking a bit of his taco.

Once they’re gone, Karkat finally finished his food and you take his paper plate as well as your own to throw away. “I’m… Thorry about them. They’re kind of weird, my whole family ith weird, to be honetht,” You try to apologize and he shrugs, standing up from his chair.

“It’s fine, I have a pretty weird-ass family too. Between my Bible-humping brother and my priest dad who even thinks my brother is weird for doing that kind of shit, I understand,” He replies. Wow, he swore a lot, just not in public. Smart kid but you kind of knew since he would start to swear and stop himself when he’s screw something up when practicing at taekwondo.

“Wow, buddy, that’th rough. My mom and TZ are more well-behaved when my dad ith here, but my dad hath hith own weird thenthe of humour, but it’th lethh awkward when he’th here,” You explain, leaning against the little island counter thing in your kitchen.

“I see,” He says, gazing off a bit. “Should I hoof it back home now or?” He asks quietly, kind of playing with the hem of his shirt idly, gazing up at you with those… Bright red eyes.

“Eh, either way. I mean, we could alwayth play video gameth or thomething. I have a gaming dethktop ath well ath thome variouth contholeth downthtairth tho…” You trail off, thinking of other things to do but coming up blank.

His face lights up when you mention “gaming desktop”. Like he’d just found out that he won a million dollars, minus the smile. “Gaming PC sounds cool, I mostly play games on the PC so I kind of suck at console gaming,” He replies.

“Alright, then, follow me,” You tell him, exiting the kitchen and to the front of the house where the staircase is. You lead him up the stairs and turn left, and go to the end of the hall, pushing open the door to your room. Your room, needless to say, was pretty interesting so you didn’t really acknowledge the impressed look on his face.

Your walls, for one, are painted alternately red and blue. Your curtains are red and blue. You have some bulletin boards on your walls, where you think you'd need them. The boards are all covered up with various coding notes, written in your trusty old dark yellow pen ink that you had gotten a long time ago. Something about the colour you like for certain things, but red and blue are definitely your favourite colours. Your bed is in the far corner of the room, having a yellow comforter with bees on it. It’s old, but you never had the heart to change it our for something more practical. Against the opposite wall is your desk, with your gaming PC sitting in it’s little nook under it. You have a plastic mat on your floor under your black office chair to protect the carpet and to make rolling around easier. Your dresser is a little bit spaced away from your desk, but not enough to make it awkwardly blocking the door.

You step into your room and let Karkat in, as well. He looks around your room a bit more, his eyes pretty bright. Hadn’t he ever been in a nerd’s simplistic yet colourful room before? You guess not, though you guess simplistic and colourful don’t usually fit together.

“Well, motht of my gameth are kind of an online dealio, or thingle player, but we can take turnth?” You offer, bending over to wake your computer up out of sleep mode by pressing it’s power button.

“Hmm? Uh, yeah sure! What, uh, games do you play?” He asks, jumping and stammering a bit when you straightened back up and turned to look at him. Was he just looking as your…? Eh, whatever.

“Well, I play SGRUB a lot, along with Binding of Ithaac, Battleblock Theater, Left 4 Dead 2, GTA 4, uhh… I kind of have a lot of gameth, tho you can look through my library if you want,” You offer him the chair, and be sure to hide your online profile. You don’t really like giving random people you just met your Steam name, one day you will give it to him though.

He accepts the offer on taking over your chair and you just kind of… Stand next to your desk, half-watching what he was doing. He scrolled through your library with a look of awe, “Damn, you have a shitton of games, how the hell did you get so many?”

You shrug, honestly you always waited for sales to buy games. And you usually got gift cards for your Steam account for major holidays, and since your birthday is in summer, you have a pretty steady supply of them. “I dunno, I guethh thummer birthdayth and thaleth are two thingth that work wonderfully together,” You reply.

You both end up playing GTA 4 for a while, it’s actually a lot more fun to do when you’re witnessing all of the dumb shit that can happen in that game with someone else watching, then watching as they play. You can’t wait for GTA 5 to come out on the PC so you can steal planes like a fucking expert like you do at your friend Aradia’s house every now and then when she’s free. You’ve been friends for literally forever, which is nice.

“Shitfuck, how long have we been playing this goddamn game?” Karkat suddenly asks, jumping to your desktop to see the time, and wow, it’s like ten o’clock. Where the hell did your mom and Terezi go?

“Uhh, well according to my clock, about two and a half hourth, you should probably get home, right?” You ask. You really hope he doesn’t get in trouble for being out this late, you feel bad already for being so oblivious to time.

“Yeah, probably. I mean, my dad probably won’t care, but my brother will try to act like I was out doing something ‘unethical’ or some fuckery,” He replies, standing up quickly and grabbing his car keys from where he’d set them on your desk.

You walk him outside and see him off like a good host would. Then you abscond back to your room and change into your pajamas for a much-needed CG talk time. But to your surprise, he isn’t online. You wait maybe fifteen minutes and he finally signs on.

\----twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at [22:18]----

TA: dude where the hell have you been

TA: liike you werent onliine when ii fiinally 2iigned on, ii thought you diied or 2omethiing.

CG: WELL GEE, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE MY NEW MOTHER, TA.

CG: WELL, *MOM*, I WAS OUT.

TA: iit2 liike 10 at niight what were you out doiing.

CG: WELL, YOU COULD SAY I HAD DINNER WITH THAT GUY.

TA: the attractiive one?

CG: YES.

TA: the one you fapped over la2t niight?

CG: FOR GOD’S SAKE, WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME?

CG: BUT TO ANSWER YOUR STUPID FUCKING QUESTION, YES.

TA: ooh fancy.

TA: you have two giive me the detaiil2, man.

TA: ii wa2 2tuck all day tryiing two awkwardly entertaiin 2ome guy my mom apparently want2 me two date. 2he2 crazy. ii dont even know hiim. but he 2eem2 kiinda cool.

CG: ALRIGHT, WELL WE HAD DINNER AT HIS HOUSE.

CG: THEN, GET THIS, I SAW HIS ROOM.

TA: oh man, CG, gettiin’ iit.

CG: ALL WE DID WAS PLAY VIDEO GAMES FOR A WHILE, BUT YEAH.

CG: DURING DINNER, I NOTICED HIM LOOKING AT ME A LOT.

TA: dude he miight liike you two.

TA: 2tariing u2ually iimpliie2 attractiion.

CG: I’M UGLY AS SHIT, THOUGH.

TA: that may be true but maybe he2 iintwo ugly people

TA: two liike, make hiim feell better about hii2 look2?? ii dunno.

CG: WHATEVER THE CASE, HE MIGHT HAVE CAUGHT ME STARING AT HIS ASS, BUT I’M NOT SURE. HE DIDN’T REALLY SAY ANYTHING SO MAYBE I’M SAFE.

TA: or maybe he liiked iit and deciided not two act liike he notiiced.

CG: DAMN, YOU HAVE A POINT.

TA: when dont ii have a poiint?

CG: HALF OF THE TIME.

TA: you know me 2o well.

TA: but yeah ju2t look out for hii2 body language.

TA: liike phy2iical way2 of fliirtiing becau2e 2ome guy2 arent two good wiith word2.

CG: RIGHT.

CG: HE DID MAKE AND EFFORT TO BEND OVER TO DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF CROUCHING DOWN LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.

TA: 2ee? he probably wanted you two look at hii2 a22.

CG: YEAH, WOW, TA. YOU’RE PRETTY SMART.

CG: BUT AT LEAST I FINALLY FOUND OUT HIS FIRST NAME SO I COULD STOP CALLING HIM BY HIS LAST GODDAMN NAME LIKE SOME KIND OF WEIRDO.

TA: waiit.

TA: you fapped.

TA: two thought2 of that guy.

TA: and you diidnt even know hii2 fiir2t NAME??

CG: …

TA: oh my god, diid you ju2t liike

TA: 2igh hii2 la2t name as you came?

CG: SHUT THE HELL UP, I DID NOTHING OF THE SORT.

TA: ii bet you diid.

CG: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, YOU DOUCHEY ASSGRAB, I DIDN’T ANY ATTEMPT TO SAY ANYTHING.

CG: IT WAS LATE AT NIGHT AND I WAS TRYING TO KEEP QUIET FROM WAKING UP MY FAMILY.

TA: mmhmm whatever you 2ay, CG.

CG: WHATEVER, DON’T BELIEVE ME, FINE.

TA: ehehehehe.

TA: 2hiit iim 2orry ii have two go help my mom iin wiith groceriie2, ii wa2 wonderiing where 2he went.

CG: ALRIGHT, TALK TO YOU TOMORROW, DUNDERFUCKER.

TA: later, dumb2hiit.

\----twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at [22:38]----

 


End file.
